It is Transweek, so I decided to do a post!  I decided to go more personal than I normally would as the title also implies. I was born a male, but although you can not tell from the pictures that I have included in this post, I was very unhappy. I knew that I was transgendered since before I can remember. My sister says that before I was even 3, that I begged her to make me a girl! All throughout Elementary, I knew that I was different. I also thought that I was the only one that felt this way. Then one day it all changed.
I received in the mail this comic. What was odd about this is I did not collect Captain America. My mom had got me this sub without my knowledge (And I ended up loving the series and collected it for many years after, but that is not the point!) What to this day still stands out to me is that of all the issues that could have been my first, it was this issue in which Superia and her soldiers are trying to turn Cap and Paladin into women. What made it even odder was later that night, I Saw Night Court and it was a rerun about Dan's friend from college named Chip who had gotten a sex change. Yep two things in one day and this one gave me the info I needed. I found out about the Sexual Reassignment surgery and transsexual. I immediately went down stairs to look this up in my mom's old college books (she was a nurse).

 For years I was in the closet but came out officially in 2001, in fact I have been living as Alexis for FIFTEEN years as of December 22. Man, How time flies.
 It most definitely has not been easy and still is not. To this day I am still having some issues being me as I am still scared at times. I can't even tell you how many times I have thought about suicide. Which is not that shocking since at least 40% of transpeople have attempted suicide, but I have to sadly say that is probably higher as I know very few if any that haven't. The truth is it is hard enough to be considered outcasts, but most of us are disowned by parents, or stay in the closet because we are taught we need to be this one way.
 The truth is I tried my best not to be trans! I tried to be the perfect son and do what I Was supposed to but that caused me to try to kill myself back in 01. Many say this is a choice but as a trans person myself, I have to say that is baloney! I have said this before and I will say it again here: "I would never wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemy!" It is not because I am ashamed of being trans, in fact these days I am proud of it, no it is because this life is so hard. Many people can't handle it. The other reason is that it is dangerous. The other leading cause of death for us is homicide. In fact every time I hear who had died worldwide in our community, I am saddened as I rarely hear of one of us dieing from old age or health issues.

I don't mean to be a downer or even go and make this blog sad but I felt that a part of my story had to be told this week. I am however stopping here for now, even though there is so much more that I could say.
This is basically why I am going to be opening another blog where I will be doing vlogs and regular written blog entries that will be focusing on my life and my kitty. That is because I do not believe that this is the appropriate place for that as this is a toy/ pop culture blog. Expect that to open in January!

Also I have started polls on my blog, so please check it out. --->

Next week I will be returning to my regular content, in fact all but Monday and Thursday's posts are ready! in fact, all but the walk-through video are completed! Due to posting on Thursday, the schedule will be different next week by the way!

  • Monday: Pop Culture League Barbie Review
  • Tuesday: Barbie Review Pop Culture League: Gee, Thanks!
  • Wednesday: No post
  • Thursday: Collection Walk-Through video (Finally)!
  • Friday: My December Event Preview! (Hints were in my "Oops" and "Blue" posts)
See you guys then. :)


  1. Proud that you did this! It is okay to share parts of your life and it isn't sad or a downer, it is your life. It is a hard life for us that are trans but when we are honest it helps a lot.

    1. I know, it is just I like to keep this blog up beat and about toys. lol.

  2. Im happy that you have did what it takes to be happy! It is a hard path to walk but even with the difficulty's you need to do what feels right because there is nothing worse then trying to live with something thats not the right fit for you. Try to stay away from the dark thoughts, Iv had to deal with the same feelings of wanting it to all just end but I promise you it will always get better and nothing is ever bad enough to need to hurt yourself.

    1. I try. I won't lie I have been suicidal off and on in the last few months and that is scary since I was NOT suicidal for years! Thankfully I do have a case manager and a therapist as well as Cassie to talk to.

      I am sorry to hear about you but I agree life does get better but sometimes it is hard to see that.

  3. You're alot tougher than you think you are,Alexis.I have my own beliefs and opinions ,but they are just beliefs and opinions.I also believe things happen for a reason.Who knows,maybe someone else will read this post and muster up the courage to come out as well.I admire your candor and courage.The cool thing Is that regardless of our differences ,In the end ,we are all just toy collectors :)

    1. eh-hem Awesome toy collectors ;)

    2. Oh trust me, I know I'm pretty tough lol. I am not going to get into it here but if you knew some of the stuff I have been through.... I'll robably mention some in my new blog (it is in my blog roll and is the one that says that its coming soon!) Also everyone has the right to their beliefs and opinions as long as they don't interfere with others rights. I like to think of this blog as the safe zone where we can all get along, that is why I try to stay away from politics and stuff here and why I am starting the new blog as I know that I do need to get it out but not here! As I said I only did it here this time due to it being transweek and did the Trump thing because I was upset lol. I wuld not be surprised if this post does help someone I mean if a Cap comic and a Night Court ep helped me....


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